christian swanson blogs?

Now that I see that my first two rules seem to be following a spooky theme, I figured I should post an old one that I’ve always meant to post.

This rule came about after living in Hollywood for a few years: Never data a woman with a headshot… especially if she’s not famous. I know, that’s harsh, but there’s something about having a headshot that’s very symptomatic of being self-centered. If you’re going to make it as an actor, it seems you have to believe a good portion of your own PR fluff to get out of bed in the morning and face another four audition rejections.
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I had a dream that two friends and I had gone to some single mother’s mobile-home trailer to do some fix-up work and when it can time to leave we found that none of the doors were big enough for two of us to get out. One of us was able to barely squeeze out but the other two were stuck inside. I don’t know what it means, beyond possibly staying away from single mothers who live in mobile-home trailers…

I took a quick nap this afternoon and it happened again. I don’t know when it started but over the years since childhood there have been perhaps hundreds of times in those hazy moments when I’m floating between consciousness and unconsciousness that sometimes a girl comes to me. She’s fully clothed; she wears a loose fitting peach colored sleeveless shirt. It’s a warm and sunny afternoon and the yellow sun is streaming through her hair from somewhere over her right shoulder. Her hair is sometimes light brown and sometimes blond but she’s always the same girl. Read the rest of this entry »

Never date a woman who can’t go out with you because, “I have my kids that weekend.” Basically the concept here is that given the level of gender bias in our court system there must really be something wrong with a woman who doesn’t have custody of her children.

Dr. Neil Clark Warren,

Ok, so I’ve worked my way through 147 eHarmony matches now and it’s yielded only one brief and frightening experience at Starbucks. (Actually, it wasn’t brief enough, it was 35 minutes of trying to come up with a polite way to jump from the table and run for my life.) Read the rest of this entry »